Astrology and Sex Toys.

I remember the very first time I received a love letter. I was nine years old, in the fifth grade, and Alfie Williams gave me a Valentine -- not just the preprinted kind that your mother makes you give to everyone in the class, but a real, honest-to-goodness Valentine he'd picked out and signed himself. It wasn't poetry -- in fact, I think he just signed, "love, Alfie" -- but it plucked my romantic heartstrings and earned him a kiss on the way home from school

Since then, I've traded up for boyfriends who've sent me longer, more flowery love letters, everything from a thoughtful card to a five-page treatise. I even had one boyfriend who drew me a romantic cartoon strip! None of these written endeavors failed to win the author his prize: a kiss, a cuddle or an "I love you."

If you've never written a love letter, it's about time you did. It's the easiest, most inexpensive way to tell your honey you love him or her. Think about the payoff -- for the cost of a card and postage, you'll get love, kisses... and possibly a little nookie!

Step One: Selecting It
A love note can be drafted on anything made from paper. Be creative! Or try some of these tried-and-true ideas:

• Valentine's Day Card: This one is a no-brainer. Go to the card store and pick out a card that will delight your honey. Does she love kittens? Is he gaga for goofiness? Hallmark^TM and a dozen other companies have the perfect card for every taste.
• Blank Art Card: Select an image that will appeal to him or her and spend a few minutes writing something sweet. The artistic exterior will appeal to his or her whimsy and the blank interior will give you the opportunity to be creative.
• Stationery: Use a piece of pretty paper or two as the canvas for your words! Having an unlimited amount of room can help you free your creativity, letting you ramble on for pages with words of love. Trust us -- your sweetie won't mind a five-page love letter!
• Construction Paper: Use a piece of heavy construction paper to create your own card. Cut out hearts and other shapes and trim an artistic edge.
• Drawing Paper: Use crayons, markers or colored pencils to draw a picture for your sweetie, something he or she will treasure forever for its "inner child" value.

Step Two: Writing It
As in most artistic endeavors, the medium often shapes the message. The type of card or letter you selected in Step One will determine which of the following notes you'll send:

• Short Note: Best for a simple card, a short note doesn't need to merely read, "love, me." Even if you only have room for a few sentences, make the most of it. Think about what your sweetie would most like to hear...a declaration of love? A reminder that he or she is the only one for you? A marriage proposal? A little effort will get you a long way!
• Long Note: If you have room to write a few paragraphs, you can really pluck your lover's heartstrings with some well-thought-out words. We recommend drafting a few copies before settling on just the right combination of endearments. Tell your honey what you love most about him or her, your favorite thing he or she does, the depth of your love, plans for the future...you have room for it all!
• Letter: If you really want to bare your heart, write your partner a long love letter. Sit down in a quiet spot with a pen, some paper and some romantic music. Don't worry about how to start, what to write, or how to finish -- just let your creativity start flowing and write whatever comes to you. Your partner will appreciate hearing your deepest thoughts!
• Drawing: Stumped for what to say? Draw a picture! It doesn't have to be art and it doesn't have to be perfect. Grab some crayons and draw a big heart, a bunch of flowers, or a tidy little house with puffy clouds and a tree. Finish off the picture by writing a few simple words of love...and don't forget to sign it with XOXOXOXOXO!

Step Three: Sending It
You might think that sending a love letter is as easy as dropping it in the mailbox or leaving it on the kitchen table, but a little effort can help your love letter really "say" something! Try these creative tips:

• Romantic Stamp: If you're sending a love letter to a long-distance lover, make the stamp as romantic as the card. Select a pretty Valentine's Day-themed stamp at the Post Office and turn it upside down! An inverted stamp has long been "postal code" for "I love you."
• Secret Message: Instead of leaving your billet-doux on the kitchen table, slip it in your lover's lunch, briefcase or purse, where he or she will find it sometime during the day. Imagine your sweetie's delight when he or she sees the special surprise you left!
• Turn-down Service: Like fancy hotels, where you receive a mint when the maid turns down your bed for the night, your love note can inspire sweet dreams. When your sweetie is in the shower or doing last-minute before-bed chores, place your love letter and a single rose on his or her pillow. Your lover will flip for this romantic gesture!
• Simple Sincerity: If you're feeling traditional, try this approach: sit your lover down, look him or her in the eye, and tell your honey you've written something special for him or her. Then hand your lover the note you've written and ready yourself for a big kiss!